Love Yourself Well

The words self-love can trigger a lot of different emotions within us, some good and others not so much. Black mothers and Black women in particular are often bombarded with negative messages about self-love like it is selfish or makes us arrogant. We may have even been told that we are difficult to love or have experienced relationships that have only shown us bare minimum love at best. These experiences can make the idea of self-love feel like something unimportant or like the last thing on our seemingly never ending to-do list that is okay if we skip.  

However, self-love is essential to our mental health and is an important part of our self-care habits and routines. According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, self-love means an appreciation of one's own worth or virtue; proper regard for and attention to one's own happiness or well-being. With that in mind, when was the last time you appreciated yourself for who you are and/or for something you have done? How often do you pay attention to and do things for your own happiness and well-being? This February, the month of love, my challenge to you is for you to commit to loving yourself well throughout 2025. We can love on ourselves in big and small ways every day. It can be as simple as choosing to compliment and speak kindly to yourself instead of being critical or overly negative. It can also be forgiving yourself for past mistakes and celebrating yourself for continuing to take chances and begin again when it is hard. Self-love can be creating good experiences for yourself throughout your days, in your home, or during a break in your work day. Elevating even the simplest things in your life can help you love on yourself and boost to your mood. Remember when it comes to self-love, think big and small.

Here are some ideas:

Major Self-Love	Micro Self-Love
Start a gratitude journal.	Recite at least one thing you are grateful for each day.
Challenge negative self-talk throughout your day.	Recite affirmations and/or pull an affirmation card from a card deck.
Buy yourself a full floral arrangement.	Buy yourself a single rose or small bouquet.
Spend the night at a hotel.	Use high-quality sheets, towels, and/or candles in your home.
Move your body (in the gym, at home, in a dance class, walking, etc.).	Pause to take deep breaths throughout your day.
Get a message and/or a fancy pedicure at a spa.	Have a home spa night or fancy night time routine (face mask, bubble bath, essential oils, a plush robe, etc.).
Take a solo weekend trip.	Explore a city/downtown area near you. Be a tourist in your own town!
Attend a concert.	Listen to your favorite playlist. Dance if you choose!

All in all, self-love is good for your mental health. When the love from others may fail us, the appreciation and love we have for ourselves should never leave us. When loving yourself feels hard, that is just the time to reach for it more. Self-love does not replace our innate human desire to be seen and loved by others however, it is our secret weapon that will help us get through long days and challenging times. When all else fails, we have to be our own champions and cheerleaders. Commit today to finding ways every day to give yourself the genuine love and care that you deserve. Let self-love move you from just surviving life to actually thriving. You can do it!

Journal Prompts/Things To Think About

1.   What makes you feel happy and healthy in this season of your life?

2.  What are some new experiences you can experiment with to help you find things that make you feel happy and well?

3.  What faith and spiritual practices might help and guide as you work on affirming and appreciating yourself more?

4.    Who can help hold you accountable for taking better care of yourself?